Since i'm on writing dumb stuff nowadays, i might as well take it to the limit... or somewhere more than it already is..

so sit tight and get ready for my children story....

Once upon a time, there was a turtle, me, the turtle, who was lying on her back, crying.
The poor little turtle, me, the little turtle, had big drops of tears roll down her cheeks as she sobbed quietly to herself, kicking her legs in the air attempting to get back on her fee.t
Try as she, the turtle, yes me, the turtle, might, it was impossible. Instead, me, the turtle ended rocking on my back, and lulling myself to sleep.
There i, the turtle, yes me, the turtle, lay on my back, rockign myself to a blissful sleep, and lived happily every after.

THE END.

for my humble 21st birthday i want.....

today is a dark day as i mourn the loss of my hamster, Tiny.

This is the place where I sit
This is the part where
I love you too much
Is this as hard as it gets
'Cause I'm getting tired
Of pretending I'm tough
I'm here if you want me
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and taken and
Tumbling and breakin'
'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

I dream of worlds
Where you'd understand
And I dream a
Million sleepless nights
I dream of fire when
You're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke
When I turn on the light
I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends,
Nothing but good friends

'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where
I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met
And is this the last chance
That I'll ever get
I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through
And not enough to you

'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

'Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

Have you ever wondered if your existence on this planet is real? As are you a real being or that you are real because you and everyone else are "programmed" to think that you are real?

As a kid, I used to think that I was just part of a game, or a television programme, that I do the things I do, say the things I say because I'm programmed to. Like maybe I'm part of a giant's toy, one of his many toys in his huge play pan. I say the things I say, and do the things I do, because he makes me to them. The same way, I play with my dolls, and make them say things to each other, and the next round will see my dolls, do this to their dolls, in a never-ending cycle of a game.

Or that I am part of a television show, and am pre-grogrammed by the producers to act and be the character that they want me to be. That my being, the person that I am, is not real, it's a figment of my imagination, and that I am just part of a television show.

HAHA.... I am the female Descartes!!!!

But you see, I'm not saying this on my own free will. The giant or the producers made me say that.

WELCOME TO WRESTLE MANIA XXXX WHERE THE HISTORICAL IRON-MAN MATCH IS SET BETWEEN TINY THE TEENY AND BOK-BOK THE BASHER

THE FIRST TO MAKE HIS ENTRANCE IS TINY AS HE DRAGS HIS HEAVY BOTTOM WITH HIS LARGE BALLS DOWN THE RUNWAY AS HE MAKES HIS WAY INTO THE RING. NEXT IS BOK-BOK WITH HIS CLUMSY SELF FALLING BACKWARDS ON HIS ASS AS HE TOO MAKES HIS WAY TO THE RING.

*DING-DING-DING*

THERE THEY ARE SIZING EACH OTHER UP, BUT WHO'S GOING TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE? ... AND IT'S BOK-BOK AS HE ADVANCES TOWARDS TINY AND PUMMELS THE SHIT OF OUT HIM, CLAWING WITH HIS NON-EXISTENT NAILS. BUT WAIT TINY IS NOT DEFEATED, HE FIGHTS BACK. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THOSE NAILS!! THEY'VE GOT TO BE AT LEAST HALF A CENTIMETER LONG. WAOW THEY ARE GETTING VIOLENT!! AS THEY THROW A LEFT, THEN A RIGHT. WAIT TINY'S ON THE TOP ROPE AND HE DOES A BACK FLIP AND LANDS ON BOK-BOK. BOK-BOK IS UP, .... CLOTHESLINE... AND AN UPPERCUT RIGHT TO TINY'S JAW...

OH OH... SOMEONE HAS JUST JOINED IN THE FIGHT. IT'S THE FINGER!!! IT'S ADVANCING TOWARDS BOK-BOK. IT'S GOT HIM CAUGHT IN A HOLD AND IT'S THE SIGNATURE MOVE OF THE FINGER. THE POKE!!!! BUT WAIT BEFORE THAT IT'S THE STARE. OH MY.. THE POKE'S COMING... AND BOK-BOK IS DOWN. TINY COMES TO TRY TO TAKE HIM OUT BUT IS NO MATCH FOR THE PROWESS OF THE FINGER.. AND IT'S A DOUBLE PIN!!!!

ONE, TWO, THREE!!!!!

*DING DING DING*

THE WINNER OF THE IRON-MAN MATCH IS..............

THE FINGER!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a little teapot short and stout
Here is my handle, here is my spout
When the water's boiling hear me shout
(WHEEE!!!!)
Tip me over and pour me out

THE END


******

The House That Jack Built

This is the house that Jack built.

This is the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cat that chased the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the man all tattered and torn that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the priest all shaven and short that married the man all tattered and torn that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cock that crowed in the morn that woke the priest all shaven and shorn that married the man all tattered and torn that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built

This is the farmer sowing the corn that owned the cock that crowed in the morn that woke the priest all shaven and shorn that married the man all tattered and torn that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that stole the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

THE END


****

Girls are naturally bitches. It's true. From humans to animals, the female specie is a natural bitch, excluding the fact that dogs are of course called bitches.

So, I had a hamster called Tiny. I bought another couple, Bok-Bok, and Eee, with the intention of having them mate, so that I could have some cute babies to play with, and sell to earn a little money. The exploitative nature of humans.

Well... at first Bok-bok was the dominant hamster, then he got pummeled by Eee, and turned into a wimp. Everytime she comes near, he just flops on his back, and screeches his head off. But you've got to take into account the fact that she bit him till he bled somewhere near where his little dick's supposed to be, and that has got to have scared the shit out of him, maybe that's why Bok-bok has tiny balls, but that's besides the point.

So well, we changed the arrangement and put Eee with Tiny. At first they seemed to be having a really good time, with Tiny chasing her around trying his best to hump her, put his seed in her and get me some cute baby hamsters. (It was then that I saw my Tiny's little tiny... GROSS!!!!) Anyway, they seemed to be getting along fine, playing and all. Then two days later, the BITCH was out and back for good. She terrorized the shit out of Tiny.

If you think AL Qaeda's a terrorist group, Eee is a terrorist all by herself. (Ok, that sentence didn't exactly make sense.) Everytime you put either one of them near, the immediate reaction is her seeking them out and bullying and terrorizing the hell out of them. My poor little boys. And she dared bite me too. THAT BITCH!!!

So you see... All of the female specie are BITCHES!!!